Crafting a Meaningful Obituary – Common Pitfalls

1. Failing to have a plan
   1. Set draft and final deadlines. Plan your research.
   1. Write an outline or do whatever you do to organize facts and thoughts.
   1. Start writing even before all the data is in. Leave a searchable symbol in areas waiting for details. (I use 3 asterisks. Easy to find/replace.)
   1. Best advice I found online: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/how-write-perfect-obituary-according-professional-writers-ncna1055996
2. Writing a boring lead
   1. Don’t let anyone tell you an obituary must begin with the decedent’s name. Sometimes that’s the best way, but don’t limit your options.
   1. Ask yourself, will each sentence either reward the reader or draw them into the next one?
3. Letting strict chronological order obscure highlights.
   1. Date and place of birth are hardly revelatory. How often does a biography or biopic start there? Don’t bury the lead under ancient history.
   1. Pre-adult history is a low priority unless you tie it to something important in later life.
4. Failing to capture the spirit of the deceased
   1. Tools:
      1. Action words! Relating what the person did and its impact can help reveal who they were.
      1. Anecdotes
      1. The why and how of the decedent’s life-shaping actions
      1. Quotes
         1. If someone uses an adjective in their quote, ask them for an example. Specific details matter!
      1. Descriptive details
      1. Literary devices
5. Using clichés
   1. Ironically, for all their power, literary devices lend themselves to clichés. Be original!
   1. Too many to list, from “surrounded by family” to “lived life to the fullest.” See https://www.obituaryhelp.net/Pitfalls_and_Cliches_to_Avoid_in_an_Obituary.php
   1. Another excellent list: https://saltwire.pressreader.com/article/281603833973900
6. Making it about the loss rather than about the deceased’s life
   1. Is the obit’s purpose to tell the audience about the survivors’ grief?
   1. Writing something separately, in a letter or a journal, can help with grief.
7. Providing excessive medical information
   1. Cause of death is optional
      1. If the decedent is old, the cause is probably not newsworthy. Consider putting it near the end of the piece.
      1. If the decedent is young, the details may be sensitive. On the other hand, disclosing it can eliminate a lot of questions.
   1. If you provide the cause, “died of ____” is usually enough.
8. Thanking people
   1. This isn’t the place, and you might forget someone. Write a thank-you note and enclose a copy of the obituary.
9. Listing too many survivors
   1. Let numbers and space guide you. Consider using counts (“…and seven grandchildren.”) Excellent resource: https://www.legacy.com/news/whom-to-include-in-the-obituary/
   1. Ex-spouses should be listed if they share children with the decedent. Other étiquette tips: https://everloved.com/articles/obituaries-and-funeral-announcements/a-guide-to-obituary-etiquette/
10. Writing hurriedly
    1. Good writing takes time. Start early and write multiple drafts!
    1. Tighten content. Avoid repetition. Make every sentence meaningful.
11. Failing to check facts or use an editor
    1. Confer with multiple sources. Get consensus on content and tone from other stakeholders.
    1. Software editors (e.g., Grammarly or Microsoft’s Editor) solve most mechanical issues, but they are not infallible.  
12. Including sensitive information
    1. Identity theft is not limited to the living. I discourage the disclosure of exact birth date and birthplace as well as mother’s maiden name. The credit agency Experian has an excellent page on this: https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/what-you-need-to-know-about-obituaries-and-identity-theft/
    1. Burglars read obituaries for the time and place of a planned ceremony. And it’s far too easy to find someone’s address. If you publish service details, make sure anyone mentioned knows of your plan and takes precautions.